another year older (read: less).

 

personally i think birthday is not something that really has to be celebrated. it is more on the reflection and contemplation on how had i spent my life, what have i achieved and what have i not achieved. ticking the bucket list i must say. hence, the concealed birth date. but to be honest, the thoughts and wishes were always so warm that they wrapped me with love, touched and grateful feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you may see them as gifts or words. but for me these are truly act of service and time.
alhamdulillah 'ala kulli nikmah. may Allah showers you all with endless goodness.

[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. [67:2]

 

jalan masih panjang.

if He wills it, there is still a long path ahead. so never lose hope.

(riddells creek, 191115)

Oh my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [39:53]

setelah ku dipaling.

Hampir aku hanyut kerana rindu
Pada harta yang pasti reput
Dan lenyap di sini
Hampir aku lupa pada yang Kekal
Kejahilan menyelubungi jiwaku

Sekelipnya mata hilang semua
Yang hanya ku pandang
Yang hanya milikMu

Yang hanya ku idam
Di dalam pandanganMu
Bersama mereka terdahulu

Sungguh aku cari cahaya itu
Untuk menyuluh kelam ini
Setelah ku dipaling
Sungguh aku hina menagih secebis
KeampunanMu setelah aku malu

Yang hanya ku pinta
Harapan keampunan
Hati ini telah ku lukai

Sebaiknya manusia Kau ciptakan
Hinanya angkara diri sendiri
Sedegup jantung terleka
Dibuai arus dunia
Selangkah kau menghampiri kehancuran

Sungguh aku cari
Cahaya itu
Untuk menyuluh
Setelah ku dipaling

 

(Rast, 2005)

i've loved this song years ago and i still do now. very relatable to every second of our lives it is.
Bersama mereka terdahulu
may Allah gather all of us with the righteous. ameen ameen ameen.
 

of hope and expectation.

 

people always say expectation hurts. i'm not sure whether to agree with the premise or not haha.

 

[forgot where the source was]

 

do you know there are differences between hope and expectation?

 

i like the definitions from dr gerald may from his book, the awakened heart:

 

 Hope is the wish for something to happen. Hope is flexible. It is alive. It responds to all situations instead of battling against the ones that appear to be opposite. Hope admits reality, always acknowledging what is, but never resigning itself to what is. Hope allows other to grow. It desires good for another, but gives them room to change over time. Hope is not limited by previous experience. We can hope for more than what we know. We can hope for something better. Our imaginations and dreams influence our hopes. Since hope admits uncertainty, it does not die when it goes unmet. A hope deferred does not kill the soul. We may need to adjust our hopes, but we can always keep hoping. Hope helps us to keep moving forward. Hope fills us with life.

 

on the other hand,

 

Expectation is a rigid clinging to unreal belief. Expectation is demanding exactly what we want to happen regardless of what is actually happening. Expectation is typically fixed and frozen. It is inflexible and rigid. It is unable to give or to bend or to change. Sadly, expectations are limited to our previous experiences. We are unable to expect something that we haven’t seen before. We cannot expect something better than what we know. The worst part of expectations is what happens when we hold onto them. They infect and overwhelm us, like a virus. They consume us like the plague. We are unable to give them up. We are unable to let go. Expectation influences our behavior and attitudes. It affects how we see the world. And then how we respond to it.

 

hence, the picture. may Allah always guide us all the way. ameen ameen ameen.

 

diary: do you know that rasulullah saw loved to name his belongings? his swords, horses, camels etc. by the way hope is the name of one of my thumb drive. HOPE.

 

fear factor.

they are almost done with exams. will there be any appointments?

 

I hate to admit that it scares me when the people that I care much have some sides that are exactly similar to mine. Not much but there are some though. I know it's such a nonsense idea. What the heck if people are behaving the same? Yeah doesn't really matter but it does scare me. I guess common ground is not everything, huh?
 

keajaiban.

 

Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

Sungguh ajaib perihal orang mukmin, sesungguhnya semua urusan mereka adalah kebaikan. Dan keadaan ini tidak ada melainkan kepada orang yang beriman sahaja. Sekiranya beroleh kurniaan dia akan bersyukur, maka jadilah kurniaan itu baik untuknya. Manakala apabila ditimpa musibah, dia bersabar. Maka jadilah musibah itu kebaikan untuknya.

(HR Muslim)

 

diari: dalam seminggu je jumpa hadis ni tiga kali daripada orang yang berbeza yang berada di tempat yang berbeza. pasti Allah mahu ajarkan sesuatu. alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal :)