Thursday, August 25, 2016

Ertugrul 1890.

What I want to protect is the heart of these people.


in this sickening world, it is always good to watch how humanity is revived. what's even better? they were history. real story and the history of the two countries that i wish to step my feet onto in the future biidznillah.
ameen ameen ameen.

Monday, August 15, 2016

when we meet again biidznillah.

So let the light guides your way
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
(Charlie Puth ft Wiz Khalifa)
Travelling leaves you speechless, and turns you into a story teller. (Ibn Battuta)

Saturday, July 9, 2016

para pencariMu.

Visited a family friend of mak whose limb got amputated due to diabetes today. Made me realise I have more than what other people do. How I always have things to be grateful of despite all others that made me barely able to breathe. Just pounding me with reminders that everything is from Allah and He’s the One I should return all that I have including this feeling. Everything back to Allah and nothing left out.

I once hope Allah tests me so that I can feel my existence in this path, some kind of proof that I’m not self-centred and to feel belong to the siratal mustaqeem. Just so that I have something that can make me closer to Allah. Now that I’m into the situation, I don’t know if I could ever make it through. 

People rarely see me at my lowest point of life, crushed to my senses and emotions, feeling almost helpless and lost in sorrow. I still cry in silence, alone out of public. I still easily get over-thinking. But to an extent, I feel numb. At times, I’m unsure whether this is really ikhlas and redha or I actually gave up and desensitised by all the trials and tribulations.

Alhamdulillah at other times I always get subtle reminders from Him, the Most Beloved and the Most Merciful. I turned on the radio and I heard the song rhapsodising our Palestinian brothers and sisters that will never give up upon the siege and everything that I know far worse than what I feel and experience now. Somehow telling me not to lose hope and keep on fighting until the end. Until it is clearly the end.

I will try to do my very best, to my very last drop of blood, sweat and tears. As I say I seek for Him, His mardhatillah, seek for a better life here and the thereafter, hence here I go. Bismillah..

Menjalani hitam putih hidupku
Membuatku mengerti
Erti hadirMu dalam
Setiap langkah-langkahku bererti

Melewati setiap detik waktuku
Bersama takdirMu
Membuatku mengerti
Hanyalah padaMu ku kembali

Ku bersujud kepadaMu memohon ampunanMu
Adakah jalan untukku untuk kembali padaMu

Akulah para pencariMu Ya Allah
Akulah yang merindukanMu Ya rabbi
Tunjukkanku jalan yang lurus
Untuk kutambatkan langkahku

Akulah para pencariMu Ya Alah
Akulah yang merindukanMu Ya rabbi
Hanya di jalanMu Ya Allah
Tempatku pasrahkan hidupku

(Ungu, 2007)