Monday, November 28, 2016

MGSS.

Hari ni wan (nenek) call suruh mintak kerja di UMP.
Dalam hati kata "Kerja kat sini ada tak?" Antara kampung tarbiyahku, the world's most liveable city for six years running!

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Rapuh.


Detik waktu terus berjalan
Berhias gelap dan terang
Suka dan duka tangis dan tawa
Tergores bagai lukisan

Seribu mimpi berjuta sepi
Hadir bagai teman sejati
Di antara lelahnya jiwa
Dalam resah dan air mata
Kupersembahkan kepadaMu
Yang terindah dalam hidupku

Meski ku rapuh dalam langkah
Kadang tak setia kepadaMu
Namun cinta dalam jiwa
Hanyalah padaMu

Maafkanlah bila hati
Tak sempurna mencintaiMu
Dalam dadaku harap hanya
DiriMu yang bertahta

(Aunur Rofiq Lil Firdaus, 2007)
 
It's November 27 again. Greatest reflection on the moments passed.
Ya Allah, ampunilah aku, terimalah amalku dan akhirilah aku di tempat terbaik, jannahMu!
Ameen ameen ameen.
 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Rindu.


[Sydney Airport, 100714]

Saja throwback. Jelas-jelas rindu.

#26 #first

 
[Port Stephens, 270915]
 
#first sand boarding experience. Should do more physical activities nowadays.

#26 #first

 
#first time cooking non-malaysian cuisine. You name it. Western, Japanese, Mexican, Greek, Moroccan, Korean, Egyptian etc. #first time using unfamiliar vegies, fennel, kale, avocado and what not that you see on tv shows.
 
 
 
 
Saja rindu nak masak makanan pelik-pelik.
 

Monday, November 21, 2016

Keep holding on.

 
It's already day 21 of the eleventh month, and it's getting tougher everyday.
T_T

[Brighton, 260614]
 
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah dan janganlah Engkau susahkan.
Ya Allah jika rezekiku masih di atas langit, turunkanlah. Jika ada di dalam bumi, keluarkanlah. Jika sukar, mudahkanlah. Jika haram, sucikanlah. Jika jauh, dekatkanlah. Limpahkanlah kepadaku segala yang telah Engkau limpahkan kepada hamba-hambaMu yang soleh.
Ammen ameen ameen.
 

Saturday, November 19, 2016

TC.

 
A calm, beautiful Friday. Rise and shine for a better day, a faith and hope.
 
[TC, 181116]
 
[TC, 181116]
 
[TC, 181116]
 
Reach out to You, cause I admit I'm weak. I sometimes lost my way, and You're still there.
 
Forever I won't be afraid
With You right here I'll be okay
Cause everything about You is the truth
Whenever I call out Your Name
Lift up my hands, bow down to pray
I feel so good, it's all because of You
(Harris Jung, 2015)
 

#26 #first

 
[South Lawn, 210314]
 
#first time ikut kawan-kawan lunch kat lawn, acah-acah mat saleh. Orang makan salad, kita makan nasi. Tekak melayu la katakana haha. Sekarang ni hanya mampu throwback je. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. Sungguh, nikmat mana lagi yang nak didustakan?
 

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

A figure.

 
With one of the most inspiring lecturer of all. Salute!
 
[Laby Theatre, 201014]
 
Being a lecturer, an inspiration, a wonder. I had this conversation again and again. Again and again.
What's left now? Hope and prayers.
 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

#26 #first


[Wildlife Park, 070914]
 
#first kangaroo feeding with the help of my lovely #first naqibah. It was also my #first time handling the SAMPEL group. Again, it was an experimental attempt but I was glad they were around to help. Love!
 

#26 #first

 
[Flagstaff Garden, 280714]
 
#first time solat raya publicly di taman dan #first time beraya tidak bersama keluarga.
 

#26 #first

[Mt Wellington, 010714]
 
#first time main salji tulen di program nasional pertama di bumi oz. Waktu ni jugak result keluar dan dapat tahu failed satu paper haha. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. Just cherishing every moment that I had!
 

#26 #first

 
[REB, 240614]
 
This marked the completion of the #first semester. A snap to celebrate the last paper, right after stepping out of the exam building. It was winter, hence the dark background.
 
We were obviously excited but I just knew at that time that the semester won't end very well. However, every cloud has a silver lining. Period.
 

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Patriot.

Memori mencari patriot.
9 November 2016.
Pekan, Pahang.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

#26 #first

 
#first love besides al-'adiyaat.
 
[KJRI, 210614]
 
First love is the deepest, and that's why they too shall stay in my heart forever.

We relate to thee their story in truth: they were youths who believed in their Lord, and We advanced them in guidance.
 
Al-Kahfi 18:13
 

#26 #first

 
[Queen Victoria Market, 040514]
 
#first time accidentally eating non-halal food. You can tell how good it is when you see people lining up to get the gem! Fluffy, soft, warm doughnut. Unfortunately it's not halal as they use animal fat and not vegetable substitute. Got to know this days after we ate the doughnut. My second was in a fine-dining restaurant. Seafood salad. Checked on the dressing and it was free of alcohol. Apparently they marinated the seafood with wine! Got to know this from the bitter-sour taste of the dish and that's it no more bite, went to the counter to ask and verified by the chef.
 
Ighfirli Ya Rabb!
 
Moral of the story. Tabayyun! Check and re-check. Not once, but always. Period.
 

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Anytime.


I'm only one call away
I'll be there to save the day
Superman got nothing on me
I'm only one call away

(Charlie Puth, 2015)
 

Saturday, November 5, 2016

#26 #first

 
Gara-gara godek folder semalam, jumpa gambar tiga manusia ni. Tipu kata tak rindu. Rindu!
My #first housemates in Melbourne. Ahlul Beyt Khalesyah.
 
[South Yarra, 041114] 
 
Banyak sangat momen-momen pelik dan istimewa bersama. Banyak sangat outing dan aktiviti bersama. Banyak sangat kerenah. Banyak sangat cerita masing-masing. Banyak jugak perangai, tabiat unik, manja dan sebagainya haha. Kesayanganku, semoga kita sentiasa ikhlas..
 

Friday, November 4, 2016

I miss you.

 
[Waffee, 090915]
 
 [Queen Victoria Market, 200216]
 
The first news feed on my facebook today is the picture (birthday shoutout) of the two people that I love and miss. Two special souls among many more beautiful souls. Hence the post is reminiscing the coffee talk that I had with them because somehow I'm feeling down, not being able to be a good murobbi for them when I was around.
  
Bukan santunku terbungkam
Hanya hatiku berbatas
Tuk mengerti kamu
Maafkanlah aku

(Samsons, 2008)
 
I hope I can always be a better friend and ukhti, albeit the no-longer-naqibah status for both of you. I know you ladies won't be reading this haha, but I'll always pray for you and I hope for nothing but the best for you in this life and the hereafter.
 

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Jilsah.

 
Alhamdulillah tonight was my first time attending jilsah (sitting that replaces mabit) here in Kuantan. Such a pleasant surprise to meet unexpected akhawat at the program. May Allah be pleased with us dear akhawat. Ameen ameen ameen.

[031116]
 
Seorang ukhti bergurau mengenai Surihati Mr Pilot semasa sharing session malam tadi. And hey there I was using a red pilot pen! Love you my Mr Pilot. Dan lagu tema malam tadi, seperti biasa akan terngiang-ngiang dalam kepala.
 
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku

 Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya

Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih

 
(Mirwana & Jay Jay, 2004)
 

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

#26 #first


I'm starting off my #26 NaBloPoMo challenge with my #first line. This is obviously challenging for me as it requires everyday commitment (which is now not my forte) but I'll try my very best!

[Frankston, 230214]

Sehari selepas mula-mula menjejakkan kaki di bumi down under, gigih berjaulah sebelum sekolah bermula dan ini memang kenangan manis menjadi adik tajmik di sini. I was obviously thrilled to start the new journey at that moment, not knowing the rest of the first semester will be a very tough and rough one haha. Apa pun, tadabbur quran pada hari tu memang diingati sampai sekarang setiap kali berkelana ke tempat orang. Setiap kali.
Sesungguhnya pada kejadian langit dan bumi, dan pada pertukaran malam dan siang, ada tanda-tanda (kekuasaan, kebijaksanaan, dan keluasan rahmat Allah) bagi orang-orang yang berakal; (Iaitu) orang-orang yang menyebut dan mengingati Allah semasa mereka berdiri dan duduk dan semasa mereka berbaring mengiring, dan mereka pula memikirkan tentang kejadian langit dan bumi (sambil berkata): "Wahai Tuhan kami! Tidaklah Engkau menjadikan benda-benda ini dengan sia-sia, Maha Suci Engkau, maka peliharalah kami dari azab neraka."

Ali-'Imran 3:190-191

Tidaklah Allah izinkan sesuatu tanpa sebab, maka berdoalah agar tidak kufur nikmat.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Redha.


Tuhan tolonglah bukakan
Cinta dan kasih dalam hidupku
Waktu kan menyepi
Kian pergi membawaku
Saat ternantiku akan rahmatMu

Ku imbasi jalan yang berliku
Penuh gelap bisa dan harusku takutkan
Merantai jiwaku
Berat hatiku menanggung
Usah biar hidupku tuk hanyut lagi

Tanpa redhaMu aku sakit
Menahan rasa pedihnya berdosa
Berikan sinar dalam hatiku
Saat bila Engkau terima ampunanku
Terangi dengan cahaya hikmahMu

(Irfan Haris, 2016)

November is finally here. So it's time for the NaBloPoMo. Turning more and more minimalist as I age, writing much is frankly no longer a desire. Let me just contemplate on the #26 and sketch life. Because in the end, it's His please and bless that I need.
 

Monday, October 10, 2016

Intended.

 
[Alam Damai, 091016]
 
Indah semua ciptaanNya
Ini semua dari-Nya
Jangan pernah berat untuk bersyukur
Tak perlu bayar tak perlu merungut
 
Terima kasih keranaNya
Menyatukan kita semua
Apa yang jadi itu kurnia
Tak perlu bayar tak perlu merungut
 
Jelas segala semua sempurna
Indah ciptaan segala dariNya
 
Subhanallah
Subhanallah
KasihMu Allah
Subhanallah
 
Ku tahu jalannya
Kamu tahu jalanmu
Kita semua setara
Tiada beza semua manusia
 
Marilah kita terus-terus memuji
Tak kira walau satu tika diuji
Laluilah dan ucap Allah Maha Suci
Nikmat disyukuri di langit dan di bumi
Dan bersyukur dengan ikhlas selalu untuk memberi
Itulah kunci pada pintu rezeki
Bererti mensucikan budi pekerti
Berterima kasih aku mendapat rezeki
 
(Raqib & Waris, 2016)
 

Monday, October 3, 2016

Lemon tree.

 
I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree
 
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon tree

 
(Fools Garden, 1995)
 
 
[Mill Park, 100814]
 
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of it.
When life gives you struggle, make strength out of it.
 

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Footprints.

 
Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Mengapa apabila dikatakan kepada kamu: "Pergilah beramai-ramai untuk berperang pada jalan Allah", kamu merasa keberatan (dan suka tinggal menikmati kesenangan) di tempat (masing-masing)? Adakah kamu lebih suka dengan kehidupan dunia daripada akhirat? (Kesukaan kamu itu salah) kerana kesenangan hidup di dunia ini hanya sedikit jua berbanding dengan (kesenangan hidup) di akhirat kelak.
 
Jika kamu tidak pergi beramai-ramai (untuk berperang pada jalan Allah - membela agamaNya), Allah akan menyeksa kamu dengan azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya dan Ia akan menggantikan kamu dengan kaum yang lain, dan kamu tidak akan dapat mendatangkan bahaya sedikitpun kepadaNya. Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu.
 
Kalau kamu tidak menolongnya (Nabi Muhammad) maka sesungguhnya Allah telahpun menolongnya, iaitu ketika kaum kafir (di Makkah) mengeluarkannya (dari negerinya Makkah) sedang ia salah seorang dari dua (sahabat) semasa mereka berlindung di dalam gua, ketika ia berkata kepada sahabatnya: "Janganlah engkau berdukacita, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita". Maka Allah menurunkan semangat tenang tenteram kepada (Nabi Muhammad) dan menguatkannya dengan bantuan tentera (malaikat) yang kamu tidak melihatnya. Dan Allah menjadikan seruan (syirik) orang-orang kafir terkebawah (kalah dengan sehina-hinanya), dan Kalimah Allah (Islam) ialah yang tertinggi (selama-lamanya), kerana Allah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Bijaksana.
 
Pergilah kamu beramai-ramai (untuk berperang pada jalan Allah), sama ada dengan keadaan ringan (dan mudah bergerak) ataupun dengan keadaan berat (disebabkan berbagai-bagai tanggungjawab); dan berjihadlah dengan harta benda dan jiwa kamu pada jalan Allah (untuk membela Islam). Yang demikian amatlah baik bagi kamu, jika kamu mengetahui.
 
Kalau apa yang engkau serukan kepada mereka (wahai Muhammad) sesuatu yang berfaedah yang sudah didapati, dan satu perjalanan yang sederhana (tidak begitu jauh), nescaya mereka (yang munafik itu) akan mengikutmu; tetapi tempat yang hendak dituju itu jauh bagi mereka. Dan mereka akan bersumpah dengan nama Allah dengan berkata: "Kalau kami sanggup, tentulah kami akan pergi bersama kamu". (Dengan sumpah dusta itu) mereka membinasakan diri mereka sendiri, sedang Allah mengetahui bahawa sesungguhnya mereka itu orang-orang yang berdusta (tentang tidak sanggupnya mengikutmu).
 
At-Taubah 9:38-42
 
[Carlton, 121115]
 
Antara ayat yang berulang kali dibacakan. Antara ayat yang sentiasa menjadi penguat di kala diperlukan.
1 Muharam 1438, semoga hijrah yang lebih membaikkan diri hari demi hari. Ameen ameen ameen.
 

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Senyum lagi.

Aku senyum
Kau senyum
Dunia turut senyum
Senyumlah bersama
Senyumlah semua
 
Senyum
Senyum selalu
Senyum
Senyum denganku
Tiada seindah senyuman
 
Senyum
Tak perlu ragu
Senyum
Usah dibimbang
Tiada seindah senyumanmu
 
(Senyum by Aziz Harun)
 
I went out today for another dental appointment at iium. Unlike any other days that I have been there, the polyclinic was a bit occupied today with students, patients and family members. And of course the highlight of the day is the title of the post, senyum. Our smiles at each other. Oh smiley faces just made my day today :)
 
Jangan sekali-kali kamu meremehkan sedikitpun dari kabaikan-kebaikan meskipun hanya kamu berjumpa saudaramu dengan muka manis. (HR Muslim daripada Abu Dzar radiyallahu ‘anhu)
 
Diari: Hari ni hari terakhir tasyrik. Tak kedengaran lagi takbir raya. Yang tinggal hanya impian menunaikan haji. 2038. 48 tahun. Haji sebelum usia mencecah separuh abad insyaAllah.
 

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Q&A.


Last weekend was a typical one. By typical I mean, weekend occupied with kenduri. So you know the perk of having kenduri is that you get to meet relatives and friends and you’ll be bombarded with typical questions such as:

dah habis belajar?

dah kerja?

dah ada sesiapa ke?

bila nak kahwin?


Okay. I know people just care or it's merely conversation starter. For that I'm thankful alhamdulillah. I usually answer most of the questions with smiles. You know what? Deep down, I really want to say I can’t guarantee that I’ll get a job or get married soon. Only one thing is certain. Death. I’m very certain everyone will die eventually. Period.

Of rizq (provision)? Allah is Ar-Razzaq and I’m very convinced that He has prepared the best for everyone including me. He is The Provider, The Providence, The Supplier and The Bestower of Sustenance.

I’m now in the phase where many fresh graduates are struggling to settle down, get the first job, pay the education loan and etc. How many posts have I applied for? To date, maybe more than twenty. I had my resume and job profile viewed two to five times for several posts but there are still no reply. I guess many more are more qualified than me. Alhamdulillah. Again, the worry is there but I know Allah will give me what I need not what I want. So I’ll just have to keep on working and keep on job-hunting.

I recalled summer in 2014. I spent my savings to travel to New Zealand (for many reasons which I never regret) for twenty days. When I’m back in Melbourne, so many things happened. I used to only have $0.02 in my bank account for more than two weeks as I used my money to pay for two houses (I moved into a new house and the old house was still in contract), plus the bonds, house cleanings, white goods, car, fuel etc. I used to walk for about four kilometers to do house inspection just because I don’t have enough to even top-up my myki.
 
summer 2014 well spent with these akhawat super. the mover, the cleaner, the play mate and what not. sumpah rindu!

I recalled last summer in 2015. I worked as a housekeeper, saving up money to cover the payment for two subjects in the extended semester. Mind you, fees for international students are super expensive. Needed to pay more than RM25k for only two subjects as my sponsor did not cover the expenses of the extended semester. I also sold some of my furniture to get extra money for the expenses. Monthly allowance? Alhamdulillah it was all on my parents. About RM3k per month to pay the house rent, bills, groceries etc. Thank you mak and ayah!

My study? Man, that one was also a real struggle. Failed genetic subject twice and almost fail for the third time, went in and out of lecturers’ room, called for academic performance meetings, appointments with advisors and etc.

These may sound nothing to some people but for me these really are few big things that sparks me with the fact that Allah helped me in many ways. I survived more than two weeks with left overs at home. I managed to walk eight kilometer a day which I never did before. I get to pay the university fees and have monthly allowance from my work and with the help of my parents which is surely I won’t forget that, the feeling of being a self-sponsored student haha. Makes me wonder too how much have my ‘pama’ friends pay for the entire study period in that most livable city. On top of everything, I know that Allah suffices me, showers me with strength and love in my time of need and bless me with understanding and knowledge. Indeed He is Ar-Razzaq and I’m nothing without His mercy.

Jodoh pulak? I admit that I’m a bit particular on this matter. While many of my friends at this age are already carrying two kids in their arms, I’m still single and living with my parents hehe. Yes, some guys approached me but not in the right way so a big NO NO to them. I believe at the moment I’m not desperate and I’ll just wait for the right time, the right place and the right person if Allah wills it.

Above all, I managed to get through everything biidznillah.

Oh ya, btw salam kemerdekaan! Tarbiah, khidmah, negarawan.
:)

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Ertugrul 1890.


What I want to protect is the heart of these people.
(Sensei)

 

in this sickening world, it is always good to watch how humanity is revived. what's even better? they were history. real story and the history of the two countries that i wish to step my feet onto in the future biidznillah.
ameen ameen ameen.
 

Monday, August 15, 2016

when we meet again biidznillah.


So let the light guides your way
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home
Home

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
 
(Charlie Puth ft Wiz Khalifa)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Travelling leaves you speechless, and turns you into a story teller. (Ibn Battuta)
 

Saturday, July 9, 2016

para pencariMu.


Visited a family friend of mak whose limb got amputated due to diabetes today. Made me realise I have more than what other people do. How I always have things to be grateful of despite all others that made me barely able to breathe. Just pounding me with reminders that everything is from Allah and He’s the One I should return all that I have including this feeling. Everything back to Allah and nothing left out.

I once hope Allah tests me so that I can feel my existence in this path, some kind of proof that I’m not self-centred and to feel belong to the siratal mustaqeem. Just so that I have something that can make me closer to Allah. Now that I’m into the situation, I don’t know if I could ever make it through. 

People rarely see me at my lowest point of life, crushed to my senses and emotions, feeling almost helpless and lost in sorrow. I still cry in silence, alone out of public. I still easily get over-thinking. But to an extent, I feel numb. At times, I’m unsure whether this is really ikhlas and redha or I actually gave up and desensitised by all the trials and tribulations.

Alhamdulillah at other times I always get subtle reminders from Him, the Most Beloved and the Most Merciful. I turned on the radio and I heard the song rhapsodising our Palestinian brothers and sisters that will never give up upon the siege and everything that I know far worse than what I feel and experience now. Somehow telling me not to lose hope and keep on fighting until the end. Until it is clearly the end.

I will try to do my very best, to my very last drop of blood, sweat and tears. As I say I seek for Him, His mardhatillah, seek for a better life here and the hereafter, hence here I go. Bismillah..





Menjalani hitam putih hidupku
Membuatku mengerti
Erti hadirMu dalam
Setiap langkah-langkahku bererti

Melewati setiap detik waktuku
Bersama takdirMu
Membuatku mengerti
Hanyalah padaMu ku kembali

Ku bersujud kepadaMu memohon ampunanMu
Adakah jalan untukku untuk kembali padaMu

Akulah para pencariMu Ya Allah
Akulah yang merindukanMu Ya rabbi
Tunjukkanku jalan yang lurus
Untuk kutambatkan langkahku

Akulah para pencariMu Ya Alah
Akulah yang merindukanMu Ya rabbi
Hanya di jalanMu Ya Allah
Tempatku pasrahkan hidupku

(Ungu, 2007)
 

Friday, May 27, 2016

true colors.


You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
The darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
 
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up
Cause I will always be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
 
[True Colors by Cyndi Lauper]
 
you know, words are not my strongest asset. i don't easily utter my thoughts and feelings especially publicly. frankly, i'm not comfortable with too much of expressions but i'll try to. tarbiyah moulds and change, yay? what i can say is please be yourself, live up to the expectation of Allah and not other people. be yourself, don't try hard to impress people but instead try hard to impress Allah. be yourself, your true colours are beautiful like rainbows.
 

Thursday, May 26, 2016

rekindle.


finally, the first hangout of ahlul huda this year! planned it since the early semester but everyone was so occupied. yet we managed to go out and have something done together last night. alhamdulillah with all the blessings..
 
[Roza, 25052016]
 
ukhuwwah: a powerful word. when we don't feel any, complaining is easy. but hey it's us who need to work on it, have efforts to light it up! rekindle the ukhuwwah..
 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

nuh.


might get emotional tonight. gonna share on my favourite surah in juz tabarak in our halaqah usari.
surah nuh.

And said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers. And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers. [Nuh 71 : 10-12]

istighfar, the key solution to everything! it's just the matter of how do we really internalizing our istighfar. asking, wanting and acting towards it, that is the real istighfar. don't just ask for forgiveness, mean it when we say we want it and have efforts on gaining the forgiveness. may we improve on our daily istighfar. ameen ameen ameen.

approaching ramadhan real soon insyaAllah. another 18 days. may we get the chance to practice the real istighfar in this holy month of forgiveness. Allahumma ballighna ramadhan! ameen ameen ameen.
 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

meneladani zun-nun.


[Geelong, 25122015]
 
Gelora perjalanan ku
Perubahan yang membahang, membahang rasa
Kecewa melanda diri
Dikabur duniawi

Dalam gelita selubungi ku
Saat ku mengenangkan khilaf lalu
Berlari ku menggapai sunyi yang memanggil
Mencari Ilahi

Merenung membuang waktu
Sepurnama tak kunjung tiba
Cahaya kian tenggelam
Dimamah suram

Menguji rohani
Diulit mimpi ngeri yang menghiris diri
Hilanglah sinar suria terangi mata
Yang makin pudar

Kegelapan meragut tangisan
Jeritan yang tak kesampaian
Dibahu lautan rebah laungan
Mengharap tulus keampunan
Dalam kegelapan

لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ
لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

Tidak ada Tuhan selain Engkau
Maha Suci Engkau Ya Allah
Sesungguhnya aku adalah termasuk
Dalam golongan orang-orang yang zalim
 
dalam kegelapan by adira. and this, among my all-time favourite du'a. certainly praises are only for Allah and we are the wrong doer. taubah!
 

Monday, April 25, 2016

the odyssey turns seven.


hari ni ulangtahun the odyssey yang ketujuh. kalau manusia dah pun darjah satu. dah pun belajar membaca dan menulis. dah pun belajar mengira. dah besar. terima kasih kerana setia menemani dan menjadi saksi dalam setiap episode hidup ni. semoga Allah redha dengan hidup ni dan semoga Allah redha dengan perjalanan menujuNya. Ameen ameen ameen.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

autumn in my heart.

 
one of today's extraordinary task was to paint the water feature. hmm i wonder why christine wanted all the greens to be painted red? because it's autumn i guess. hence, the colour.
 
(parkville gardens, 16/3/16)
 
if only it's easy to paint the days with bright colours. but of course it's not haha. whatever it is, face up and heart wide open, enjoy the life!
 

Saturday, March 12, 2016

dear me.


Know yourself to get to know God.

some say it is a hadith. some others say it is maudhu' (fabricated). anyway, i am in no position to discuss about this and debating is just none of my interest. let us just take a few seconds and ponder on how far this statement is actually true. for me, it is somehow very true to an extent and very inspiring me to get to know myself better.

and daie, it is crucial to get to know yourself. why? for the same reason that we do not compromise other things particularly da'wah. bare in mind, the chances to do da'wah do not come only when we are prepared for it. last night i had my mutarabbi spill out that she no longer had depression. at first i thought it was minor but i still took it seriously and had a few readings on that. now that she's over it, i am still thinking. maybe not the exact worry but close enough that some people do not think they have it. stress. the thought of it is often misleading. i myself did not know i had stress before. mind you, stress is not only when you have emotional disturbance but it can be as subtle as energy depletion.

the signs maybe different for each of us. one of mine is fatigue. i sleep five to six hours a day and i seldom need extra nap for extra recharging. when i am under stress, i can easily sleep for seven to eight hours (i usually automatically get up when i have enough sleep). that is fairly obvious that it is not my usual body clock especially when i can sleep at any time during the day (i usually just sleep at night)
 
others are mouth ulcers, late menstruation and lack of focus. inevitably it will be different for other people. so please be sensitive to the changes. experimenting with yourselves and observe more. sometimes we believe things to be normal but apparently it is eating us inside. once detected, try to use any means to avoid stress or at least reduce the impacts.

ultimately, no doubt that  Allah knows us more than we know ourselves but we know ourselves better than people do know ourselves. so let us help ourselves to help others.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

sejarah.

 

الأَرْوَاحُ جُنُوْدٌ مُجَنَّدَةٌ فَمَا تَعَارَفَ مِنْهَا ائْتَلَفَ وَمَا تَنَاكَرَا مِنْهَا اخْتَلَفَ

Ruh-ruh itu seperti tentera yang berhimpun yang saling berhadapan. Apabila mereka saling mengenal (sifatnya dan kecenderungannya) maka mereka akan saling bersatu, dan apabila saling berselisih maka mereka akan tercerai-berai.
 (HR Bukhari Muslim)
 
(puffing billy, 11/14)
 
(princess park, 4/15)
 
(hiyc, 11/15)
 
mengimbau kembali sejarah usrah hampir dua tahun di bumi down under ini. i truly learned a lot. terima kasih murobbi sekalian. semoga Allah sentiasa membuka pintu hidayah ke hati-hati kita dan menunjukkan kita jalan yang lurus menujuNya. ameen ameen ameen.
 

Monday, February 29, 2016

teacher.

 
i recall the last daurah i attended at bundoora. a very dear sister asked me about my 'shifted life timeline'. since a few things are unsuccessfully completed on time according to the previous timeline, i made some changes to it. extension and deletion.
 
pursuing to doctoral level is unfortunately no longer in the list. i guess lecturer at the moment is just a job i can only dream of? to be honest, i cried. but i'm not sure though is it because i feel like a loser for not hitting the target or because i don't have the passion anymore in teaching. yes, teaching. little do people know that i would love to be a teacher. my parents are teachers. i grow up with many teachers around me. and i have always admire teachers.
 
my mother is a teacher by profession and passion. i love it when she talks to us about her days in school, her students, her staffs and teachers (both my parents are high school principles), her works, teaching materials and what not. her bonding with the students and even her ex-students are just lovely. i just know in my heart that being a teacher is a very noble thing to do.
 
mak and ayah on 25.7.15 gambar curi otw ke airport :p
 
but enough with my dream of being a teacher. the timeline might change again someday, i don't know for sure haha. nevertheless, being a murobbi is also being a teacher. alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. thank you Allah for the opportunities. with my flaws and imperfections, i'll try to conduct this one title as best as i could. murobbi. i'm still learning and will always do to be a better one, insyaAllah.
 
so today is the first day of school and hopefully it is the final chapter of my master study here. no expectations just hopes. big hopes in many things. it ain't be an easy semester but i'm really looking forward for what Allah has prepared for me.
 
bismillah..
 

Thursday, February 25, 2016

temporary sadness, eternity happiness insyaAllah :)

 
from someone. too beautiful not to be shared.

The word (الحزن) "sadness" does not appear in the Qur'aan except in the form of forbidding it

(ولا تهنو ولاتحزنوا)

or in the form of negating it

(فلاخوف عليهم ولا هم يحزنون).

And the reason for this is because there is no benefit for having sadness in the heart. The most beloved thing to Shaitan is to make the believing slave sad by taking him off track.

The Prophet (ﷺ) sought refuge in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) from sadness

(اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن)

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Sadness weakens the heart and diminishes determination and wanting to go forward. And there is nothing more beloved to the Shaitan than the sadness of a believer."

For this reason, be happy, optimistic and think good about Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى). Have trust in what Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) is able to do and depend on Him. You will find happiness and pleasure in all situations.

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.

If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."

One of the righteous predecessors said:

"I make dua’a to Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) for something I want, and if He gives it to me then I’m happy once and if He doesn’t give it to me then I’m happy ten times because the first was my choice and the second was Allaah’s choice."

As Sa’ady (رحمه الله) on him said: "Life is short so don’t shorten it with worries, grief, and sadness."

So be the owner of a heart that breathes happiness and satisfaction.

May Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) make your times happy and may Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) forgive us all.

Allah knows best..

diary: 25/2/2016. happy anniversary mak and ayah. 26 years and still counting.
may Allah makes me the joy of you both now and in the hereafter.
ameen ameen ameen.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

good life.

 
I want to wake up in the morning with the sun
Wear a smile, go out and have some fun
Going to take away the worries on my mind, oh
Put them to one side

Cause everyday is like a brand new story
With unwritten lines
And no matter the weather
It's going, going to be alright
 
(Good Life by Harris Jung)
 
[Victoria Harbour Promenade, 230216]
 
Somehow managed to follow what the lyrics said haha. Very into these couple of week's mood.
Anyway, found more new ways to serenity. Alhamdulillah.
 

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

quencher.


alhamdulillah it is 42 degree celcius now in melbourne. the thought of just staying at home to study ended up with me travelling around the cbd haha. anyway, a stick of paleta is always a good a idea in times like this.

at chillbro paletas with someone ad hoc enough to be an accompany. thank you.

paletas may quench your thirst in the scorching hot weather, but surely not during the day of judgement. this has really reminded me of the river or the cistern of al-kautsar as mentioned in many tafseer of surah al-kautsar, the endless, countless and infinity nikmah. please do have a read on this.

i really hope that we may be among the thirst quencher of the ummah, not the adding of the thirst by just being an avid, self-centered and full-of-ourselves people.

i really do.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

a house in paradise.

 
 
ayat tadabbur usrah hari ni. orang beriman itu, cita-citanya tinggi. setinggi asiyah meminta rumah untuk berdekatan dengan Allah di dalam syurga.
 
mengambil ibrah sempena baru sepuluh hari di tahun baru dengan azam yang baru, mukmin itu perlu punya cita-cita yang tinggi. tapi cita-cita yang tinggi itu sama sekali bukanlah angan-angan yang tinggi. cita-cita yang tinggi didatangkan dengan usaha yang jugak tinggi. moga-moga!