Monday, June 19, 2017

Mesra bicara.

Di akhir-akhir Ramadhan ini, aku belajar mencintai berdoa daripada mencintai termakbulnya doa. Bermesra mengadu kepadaNya berbanding bermesra dengan hasil pemberian dariNya. Mensyukuri kesempatan berbicara kepadanya lebih daripada mensyukuri segala yang ditaqdirkan olehNya.

Segala puji selayaknya hanya dikembalikan kepada Allah swt. Semoga sentiasa diberikan ilham untuk mensyukuri segala jenis nikmat yang dilimpahkan kepada kita. Allahumma ameen.

Friday, June 2, 2017

10 Things I Miss About Down Under.

Alhamdulillah it is Friday and that marks the first week of this holy Ramadhan. I just want to rant on the 10 things that I miss about down under as I am in reminiscence mode at the moment. So here is the shout out!

(Playing tourist at Sealife, 121216)

1. Ramadhan

Since Ramadhan is the reason why recently I keep on towering at the old days in the kangaroo land, this should be the first. Inevitably it was a bit different than in Malaysia. I personally feel more content, more spiritually-connected and more lively of Ramadhan when I was is Melbourne. I guess it comes down to the culture itself and also the fact that we were not native there. We seldom hear or see or face any commercial ads etc related to the eid during Ramadhan, let alone thinking of the eid preparation. People are just focusing on the holy month and you can potentially make the most of your deeds in this period of time.

Another best thing that I will forever remember and miss is the masjid hopping there. You can spend your whole Ramadhan not having to cook (for iftar) and having place to sleep (during the last 10 days) as you can make masjid your second home! It was lovely mashaAllah I really miss this. Of course the masjid may not look like the masjid in Malaysia with dome, minaret etc but the jamaah is there! I recall the closest was Albanian Mosque near our home, we literally wear the praying veil and walk about 1 km to go for tarawikh at the masjid. There was this one Turkish, Fatih mosque at Dandenong where we had the whole 20 rakaat tarawikh prayer finished in an hour. There was also this Indonesian community Surau Kita where we managed to listen to tazkirah in between tarawikh from my favourite author Ustaz Salim A Fillah, Huhh the list can go on much longer but my favourite was the one and only Melbourne Madinah. The community was warm, iftar was good and the atmosphere is just what I love to spend my Ramadhan at.

By the way, it is winter during mid year in Melbourne so we spent almost the whole Ramadhan in winter! I remember walking home from Melbourne Madinah after subuh prayer and it was zero degree Celsius! And since the day is shorter than the night, we tried to spend our day wisely with more beneficial activities and among them that I cherish is giving charities to homeless people, food and necessities kit.

2. Warm greetings

People in my neighbourhood area was really friendly and chatty. I bet it is just the awesome mate culture of Australian. I had many people that I at first barely know, greeting me and talk to me about weather and other random things that I did not even think a topic to talk about when I was in Malaysia. Be it on the road while gardening, walking back home or even in the elevator, we just talk as if we were friends before! I will not deny that islamophobia is real but alhamdulillah I never had any related incidents during my stay there. One exemplary thing to be brought back to Malaysia is of course this, despite all the prejudice that we face now in the society.

3. Multiracial international friends.

In my batch, there was only another Malaysian besides me. Like it or not, I needed to befriend with other people and to my excitement my friends come from all sorts of different parts of the world. Absolutely English is the only language that we speak the same but we managed to teach each other Malay, Mandarin, Urdu, Spanish, Arabic etc and it was fun! Mind you, groups for assignments were decided by the lecturer so we could not decide in which group we would want to be and we need to work with all the members accordingly. It was actually good as I managed to work and make friend with different people at many points along the course. I used to have a very committed Christian friend, interested to talking to me about religion particularly Islam and I also used to get provocation from others haha but hey that what makes my life a colourful rainbow.

4. Walking and cycling culture.

I do not really tell people but besides driving a long journey, I love to walk, stroll or anything that you want to call it. It is just another of my medium to self-contemplate and have a private moment for myself or sometimes make time to finish my mathurat hehe. I used to walk almost 8 km a day (which I do not mind as long as it is not summer with scorching hot weather) and I found it rather relaxing. Another best thing is, pedestrian is the king here! So those who walk will get the privilege to use the road before cyclist, car driver and sometimes tram and it is so different here in Malaysia. I still get confused a lot in this situation though!

As for cycling, that is not the most favourable ride for me. I used to buy a bicycle but I was too scared to use it on the road so I in the end sell it to other people. Nevertheless, the cycling culture here regardless for recreation, commuting and sport is no doubt a healthy one plus the good cycling lanes on roads, easily available parking rails, many bicycle hire systems etc.

5. Parks.

Another thing that I miss is of course the parks. Parks almost everywhere! At my neighbourhood alone, there are three parks where people go for sports, exercising, relaxing, having picnic, barbeque, so readings, sleep, getting dogs for walking and what not. I myself have several spots where I always go to in times of need and do whatever I like there. I recall the hot air balloon sight-seeing many times during good weather as they landed at Royal Park behind our apartment. We love to wave at the people on the hot air balloons and a few times they replied to us haha. Oh yes the Princes Park in front of our apartment, they have this Swordcraft thingy every Friday night and we always see people in costumes and it was amusing how people do various things to end their working week.

6. Drinkable tap water.

Like many other western countries (Australia is in the east actually), the tap water here is drinkable unless told unfiltered. Super convenient! For people who drink water a lot, we can have a refill almost everywhere. Even on the road and at parks they have a drinking pipe and water re-filler. Super cool! You do not need to buy expensive drinking or mineral water and just have a good size of water bottle and you are good to go. But take a note here, only drink cold tap water as the hot may have chemicals in them so bare in mind.

7. Cheap dairy products.

I love milk. Drink it alone, cold or hot, or put it into my coffee, tea and hot chocolate etc. Milk is cheap mate! You can get a litre of milk below a dollar here. If I were to change the currency into RM, it is still cheap. And not only milk, of course the cheese as well, creams, spreads ets they are really affordable. Since I am a mild lactose intolerant, I took the chance to substitute ordinary milk with other milk such as almond milk and it is still cheap. Of course if you want to have a better buying value, go for home brands (if in Malaysia it is like Tesco or Giant brand) and the quality of the goods is still good. Inevitably one of the things I miss here as milk is very expensive in Malaysia huhu.

8. Weather and climate.

Four seasons and I love all the seasons. But what I miss about Melbourne is its unpredictable weather! We need to make it a routine to always check on the forecast of the day as Melbourne is pretty frantic with it’s weather. It can be really sunny in the morning and suddenly turn out to be a storm in the afternoon and it is normal here. We refer to the weather as a woman, with mood swings during her PMS hehe.

9. Tech savvy.

This is not the best word to describe what I meant but I miss the high speed internet, 5G etc. I also miss the easy kaching (mobile money transfer) without any charges even if you were to transfer money to and from different banks. I also miss the self-payment counter, various types of vending machines etc, I know it sounds silly but I made my life a lot more easier and I just realise it when I am here in Malaysia. So it may not be tech savvy but something that bring ease in this modernisation and globalisation era.

10. Coffee.

Last but of course not the least! I cannot get enough coffee when I was in Melbourne. Subhanallah, the scent of coffee itself can made my day. Heaps of coffee shops in the university and in fact almost everywhere! This is like a coffee heaven. I was so indulged that I need to make coffee off-day as one of my iqob (self-punishment). I spent maybe hundreds on coffee during my early time here, trying different kinds of coffee at different coffee shops. Very not cost-wise and I just realise it maybe by the end of the semester huhu. However I learn from the best and I started to make my own coffee, buy coffee machine, use re-useable coffee cups etc and alhamdulillah money spent better afterwards. I occasionally buy coffee whenever needed though as it usually cost about $3-$4 and you can even get it for $1 at 7eleven. Yes way cheaper! That is what I always go for if I am in a rush (usually I bring something to eat to school), a cup of $1 coffee and a $2 muffin on-the-go. Sadly, I can hardly find any affordable coffee shops in Malaysia so I will just go for kopitiam and still have my crave fed alhamdulillah.

p/s: moved-on and a little bit of throwback would not hurt :)

Monday, May 29, 2017


I have many regrets in life. Some say regretting is nothing good as it shows how much you are not believing in fate. Qadr. But I on the other hand do regretting some things. Reasons being, that is the way I appreciate all that happened. For me to contemplate and improve myself. For me to learn and be grateful of everything despite those good and not so good. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal.

"Saying, 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; for He is Oft-Forgiving; "'He will send rain to you in abundance; "'Give you increase in wealth and sons; and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers (of flowing water)"


Ya Allah! You are my Lord, there is no god but You. You created me and I am Your slave, I uphold Your pledge and evil that I have committed. I acknowledge Your blessing upon me and I acknowledge my sin. So forgive me, for none can forgive sins except You.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Of curry puffs and a Sunday.

Young people needs to learn patience. As I grow older, I treasure that patience is acquired, nurtured and very practical. I valued that patience, the same as wisdom, is priceless. Some things will mellow down with time, but some others will just clearly build up.

Quoted from among my most-referred scholar,

Sabr is not remaining quiet and allowing anger to build up inside you. Sabr is to talk about what's bothering you without losing control of your emotions.

Patience or sabr is just one thing. Inevitably I have a lot more to learn. Today, mak and I made curry puffs. To be honest, mak did most of the things. I just learn the kelim (folding the edges to seal). As expected, the curry puffs turned out to be as below. Mine is on the top, maks is of course the latter one.

Again, did I really ever learn anything today? Sure. Not only making curry puffs. Not only patience. I learn to realise that I have so many sides that I will need to improve, that I may not be ready to be someone's partner in any time soon, let alone be a mother. But I am sure to want to be one someday. In the end, I realise that Allah's plan is the best and I will always try to be grateful of all the things He blessed me with. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal.

Today I decided not to wish mak mother's day. I might not tell her, but I wish she know that I am just very very very grateful to have her as my mother. Of all the things she said and did, say and do, will say and do, I always love her and admire her. She is indeed not perfect, but she is my bench mark to my future self and she will always be the love of my life.

No wish today, but a longer prayer for you, mak. May Allah grant all my wish. Allahumma ameen.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Bermusim berlalu.

Bermusim berlalu, tapi ada yang tak akan pergi dari hati.

Hari ni aku menghantar pesanan kepadanya lagi. Aku tahu dia tak akan boleh baca, malah dia tak akan pernah tahu betapa banyaknya pesananku yang tak akan pernah berbalas. Hanya saja mesej privasi ini membuatku seperti berbual dengannya. Yang pergi tak akan kembali. Yang lain pula pasti bakal menyusul.

Aku mengerti, syahid itu kekal hidup di sisi Allah swt. Itu yang aku harapkan untukmu. Semoga selalu dalam rahmahNya bintang syurga yang kukasihi :)

Monday, April 3, 2017

Sepekan lalu.

Genap sepekan yang lalu, Cik Ana berpergian lagi ke Mahkota Segiempat untuk bertemu dan diduga. Kali ini perasaannya berbeza, harapannya juga berbeza. Benarlah Allah yang maha membolak-balikkan hati. Yang dibenci boleh dicinta. Yang tidak diharapkan boleh jadi amat diharapkan. Apa juga keputusannya kelak, resmi seorang petarung tidak akan mundur selagi belum mencuba. Itulah pegangan lumat Cik Ana.
Di medan pertarungan, Cik Ana bertemu dan diduga oleh Puan Tan Sri dan Tuan Doktor (tiada lagi Pakcik Datuk dan Pakcik DO). Pertemuan yang singkat, tetapi masih segar di ingatan hingga ke hari ini.
Puan Tan Sri: Silakan duduk Cik Ana. Perkenalkan diri, latar belakang keluarga dan pendidikan Cik Ana.
Puan Tan Sri: Apakah beza sistem pendidikan di tempat Cik Ana mengaji dengan sistem pendidikan tanah air tercinta?
Puan Tan Sri: Mengapa Cik Ana mahu menyertai bidang pengurusan dan keluar daripada bidang penyelidikan? Pada pandangan Cik Ana, mengapakah ahli sains di tanah air tercinta tidak mencapai taraf antarabangsa?
Tuan Doktor: Bagaimanakah prestasi Cik Ana di tempat mengaji?
Puan Tan Sri: Apakah sukan yang Cik Ana ceburi?
Tuan Doktor: Apakah komponen yang paling mencabar di kampung PAC? Mengapa?
Tuan Doktor: Apakah kayu ukur sesebuah kejayaan bagi Cik Ana? Boleh berkongsi apakah yang ingin dicapai oleh Cik Ana dalam hidup ini?
Puan Tan Sri: Mengapa Cik Ana rasa kami perlu memilih Cik Ana? Adakah membanting tulang di dalam makmal menghadkan kebolehan Cik Ana?
Sekian saja catatan diari Cik Ana untuk kali ini. Semoga Allah bukakan jalan yang terbaik.
Allahumma ameen..