Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Last weekend was a typical one. By typical I mean, weekend occupied with kenduri. So you know the perk of having kenduri is that you get to meet relatives and friends and you’ll be bombarded with typical questions such as:

dah habis belajar?

dah kerja?

dah ada sesiapa ke?

bila nak kahwin?

Okay. I know people just care or it's merely conversation starter. For that I'm thankful alhamdulillah. I usually answer most of the questions with smiles. You know what? Deep down, I really want to say I can’t guarantee that I’ll get a job or get married soon. Only one thing is certain. Death. I’m very certain everyone will die eventually. Period.

Of rizq (provision)? Allah is Ar-Razzaq and I’m very convinced that He has prepared the best for everyone including me. He is The Provider, The Providence, The Supplier and The Bestower of Sustenance.

I’m now in the phase where many fresh graduates are struggling to settle down, get the first job, pay the education loan and etc. How many posts have I applied for? To date, maybe more than twenty. I had my resume and job profile viewed two to five times for several posts but there are still no reply. I guess many more are more qualified than me. Alhamdulillah. Again, the worry is there but I know Allah will give me what I need not what I want. So I’ll just have to keep on working and keep on job-hunting.

I recalled summer in 2014. I spent my savings to travel to New Zealand (for many reasons which I never regret) for twenty days. When I’m back in Melbourne, so many things happened. I used to only have $0.02 in my bank account for more than two weeks as I used my money to pay for two houses (I moved into a new house and the old house was still in contract), plus the bonds, house cleanings, white goods, car, fuel etc. I used to walk for about four kilometers to do house inspection just because I don’t have enough to even top-up my myki.
summer 2014 well spent with these akhawat super. the mover, the cleaner, the play mate and what not. sumpah rindu!

I recalled last summer in 2015. I worked as a housekeeper, saving up money to cover the payment for two subjects in the extended semester. Mind you, fees for international students are super expensive. Needed to pay more than RM25k for only two subjects as my sponsor did not cover the expenses of the extended semester. I also sold some of my furniture to get extra money for the expenses. Monthly allowance? Alhamdulillah it was all on my parents. About RM3k per month to pay the house rent, bills, groceries etc. Thank you mak and ayah!

My study? Man, that one was also a real struggle. Failed genetic subject twice and almost fail for the third time, went in and out of lecturers’ room, called for academic performance meetings, appointments with advisors and etc.

These may sound nothing to some people but for me these really are few big things that sparks me with the fact that Allah helped me in many ways. I survived more than two weeks with left overs at home. I managed to walk eight kilometer a day which I never did before. I get to pay the university fees and have monthly allowance from my work and with the help of my parents which is surely I won’t forget that, the feeling of being a self-sponsored student haha. Makes me wonder too how much have my ‘pama’ friends pay for the entire study period in that most livable city. On top of everything, I know that Allah suffices me, showers me with strength and love in my time of need and bless me with understanding and knowledge. Indeed He is Ar-Razzaq and I’m nothing without His mercy.

Jodoh pulak? I admit that I’m a bit particular on this matter. While many of my friends at this age are already carrying two kids in their arms, I’m still single and living with my parents hehe. Yes, some guys approached me but not in the right way so a big NO NO to them. I believe at the moment I’m not desperate and I’ll just wait for the right time, the right place and the right person if Allah wills it.

Above all, I managed to get through everything biidznillah.

Oh ya, btw salam kemerdekaan! Tarbiah, khidmah, negarawan.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Ertugrul 1890.

What I want to protect is the heart of these people.


in this sickening world, it is always good to watch how humanity is revived. what's even better? they were history. real story and the history of the two countries that i wish to step my feet onto in the future biidznillah.
ameen ameen ameen.

Monday, August 15, 2016

when we meet again biidznillah.

So let the light guides your way
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
(Charlie Puth ft Wiz Khalifa)
Travelling leaves you speechless, and turns you into a story teller. (Ibn Battuta)