Musafir lalu.

[Brewster Rd, 28112020]

Merelakan yang hilang dan pergi beerti membuka pintu bagi yang lebih baik dan baru. Dunia aliran ujian, jangan berhenti memaknainya. (Salim Akhuna Fillah)

Mabataki.

يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغيثُ أَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِيَ كُلَّهُ وَلاَ تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ

O Ever Living One, O Self-Sustaining One, by Your Mercy I seek help, rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to depend on myself, even for the blink of an eye.

The last page of chapter 20s.

The number of the chapter is inevitably increasing but ironically the time left to be valued is decreasing. So a piece of advice is always much needed.

To the dear past, present and future me,

[TC, 12052017]

Bear in mind that everything happens for a reason. One event lead to another. Success and failure, both are lessons in life. He is The Best Planner and He is never wrong! Try to understand that it’s okay to not live the life that others expect you to live. Don’t live to the expectation of people but instead live to the expectation of Allah. Live with a virtue, based on your principle and not following trends or because of peer pressure. Always remember that you don't have to uphold a certain image just to be accepted by the society. Always retrospect and be true to yourself and other people.

You may plan ahead but your plan can definitely change when the time comes. You can plan ahead because sometimes planning ahead can give you a clearer direction of where you want to go, drive you, and motivate you. However, don't be too fixated on a plan. Plans will almost definitely always change. So be prepared! Live life with open arms. You will go where you're supposed to be headed. If it happens to be that you don't know what to do in life, just take a step back, breathe and rethink. It is OKAY and it is not a crime. Don't get overly stressed out and try to keep back on track as soon as you can.

Once in a while, be a little more expressive and less reserved. Take more risk, be bold, be confident. If things doesn’t turn out to be what you hoped for, at least it’s a way for you to grow, gain experience and learn something. Allow yourself to do more even if it means you are going to make mistakes or fail. Then forgive yourself and face the world again.

Spend more time reading more books, taking on new skills and get several other hobbies instead of spending time on social media. Always take five when you need to. Remember! People only show what they want others to see. You don't have to waste time scrutinising what people are doing. You don't actually want the life of other people, you just want to be YOU. And you should only be better than the past you, not everyone else. Stop comparing and start improving!

Try as much to be more patient and calm. You don’t have to react to everything that happens. Pause and take time to read the situation. Think of what and when do you say or do something. If you wronged something or someone, you have to admit and apologise! Make amend and make up! You'll learn the hard way but apparently you'll have to brush it off and move on, be better!

Last but not least, life is full of ups and downs. If it's flat, it means you're dead. Asystole. In the end, you are still a work in progress. Till the end, I love you Fareha ❤️ 

/kəmˈpaʃ(ə)n/

Compassion. Towards ourselves. 

I find it much easier to be compassionate towards other people than towards myself. I used to always think that being self-compassionate makes me self-centered, drowned in my own world, selfish, defensive, weak, unmotivated and become complacent with my situation. I tend to practice self-criticism more because it just feels right and I shouldn't always self-pity. 

As I grew older, I learnt that there is also wisdom in self-compassion. Each year, especially in November, I promise to love myself more. I want a better relationship with myself. And this year, I still want the same thing. Also, I want to age beautifully!

Let's learn more on what self-compassion really is, and let's discover more ways to love ourselves, shall we? :)

Start With WHY.

Start With WHY (Simon Sinek, 2009)

1. A world that doesn’t start with WHY

Our behaviour is affected by our assumptions or our perceived truths. Be careful of what you think you know. Assumptions even when based on sound research can lead us astray.

Carrots and sticks (metaphor of reward and punishment to induce certain behaviour). Fear motivates us to move away from something horrible, aspirations tempt us toward something desirable. Though positive in nature, aspirational messages are most effective for people who lack discipline and feeling insecure that they don’t have the ability to achieve their dreams on their own. Aspirational messages can spur behaviour but for most, it won’t last. Eg gym membership and attendance. Peer pressure works not because the majority or the experts are always right but because we fear that we may be wrong.

The confusion of innovation with novelty. Innovation should be industry-altering, on the other hand novelty us just added values to differentiate, not reinvent. Apple iPhone replaced Motorola Razr not because of the brilliant feature (touch screen) but because they tell the service provider what the phone would do, not the other way around.

2. An alternative perspective

The Golden Circle helps us understand why we do what we do. We can achieve more if we remind ourselves to start everything we do by first asking WHY.

Starting from outside of the circle and moving inward:-

WHAT: everyone knows, easily able to describe, easy to identify

HOW: often explain how something is different or better

WHY: very few can articulate why they do what they do, what’s the purpose, cause or belief

We say WHAT we do, we sometimes say HOW we do it, but we rarely say WHY we do WHAT we do. 

People don’t buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.

Knowing WHY is essential for lasting success and the ability to avoid being lumped in with others. 

*my WHY: CONNECTING PEOPLE 💪🏼

The need to belong. Eg meeting Malaysians overseas. Eg social acceptance.

Two parts of the brain is called limbic and neocortex. The part that controls feelings (limbic) has no capacity for language (neocortex) and that’s why it’s hard to put love into words, to explain why we love the people we love. That’s the problem with love, we just know we’ve found it because it just feels right. The gut decision. When we force people to make decisions with only rational thinking, they may be overthinking. Decision made with limbic brain, gut decision, tends to be faster, higher quality decision. Eg teacher told students to choose the first answer they chose in multiple choice questions. Great leaders are those who trust their gut, understand the art before science, win hearts before minds and they are the one who start with WHY.

Clarity of WHY, discipline of HOW and consistency of WHAT to ensure long-lasting business.

3. Leaders need a following

The emergence of trust is not by fulfilling all your responsibilities. Trust is a feeling, not a rational experience. Trust begins to emerge when we have a sense that another person or organisation is driven by things other than their own self-gain. You have to earn trust by communicating and demonstrating that you share the same values and beliefs, talk about WHY and prove with WHAT you do. Give people something to believe in.

Innovation happens at the edges. The role of leaders is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen, not come up with all the great ideas.

4. How to rally those who believe

Communication is not about speaking, it’s about listening. Logos are a way to communicating what you believe. The logo should say something about who you are. It embodies an entire value set, not only the product but also the people behind them.

Survive the celery test.

5. The biggest challenge is success

As success grows, WHY may become fuzzy, split. Never lose sight of WHY no matter how little or how much they achieve. WHY without HOW, passion without structure, has a high probability of failure.

Pass the bus test.

6. Discover WHY

The origins of WHY: trust intuition and take greater risks than others, stay true to one’s purpose, cause or beliefs. To inspire people, do the things that inspire them.

When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you. But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you. What if we showed up to work every day simply to be better than ourselves?

What if the next time when someone asks, “Who’s your competition?” “No idea” “What makes you better than your competition?” “We’re not better than them in all cases” “Why should I do business with you then?” “Because the work we are doing now is better than the work we were doing six months ago. And the work we’ll be doing six months from now will be better than the work we’re doing today. Because we wake up everyday with a sense of WHY we come to work. Our goal is to find customers who believe what we believe and work together so that we can all succeed.

P/s: only notes and not reviews.

/ɪˈrɛɡjʊlə/

Against the regular. Because sometimes it is almost impossible to avoid change.

/pəˈspɛktɪv/

Because morning walk gives me perspectives.

Of Bukit Kledang and my almost every Wednesday morning routine. ❤

Nanti

Yang patah, tumbuh

Yang hilang, berganti

Yang hancur lebur, akan terobati

Yang sia-sia, akan jadi makna

Yang terus berulang, suatu saat henti

Yang pernah jatuh, kan berdiri lagi

Yang patah, tumbuh

Yang hilang, berganti

(Banda Neira, 2016)

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Today is already the first day of the second half of the year.
And I'm still thinking what to do next.
How about you?
:)

Of abundance and appreciation.

When we have things in abundant, often we lack appreciation. There will be tendency to take things for granted. An instance? Think air. How many of us are really grateful to have breathe oxygen everyday?

I had asthma when I was young(er) but it grows out as I get old(er). Those who’s experienced asthma attack would know how much valuable it is to be able to breathe freely without any restrictions.

So is it always true that we appreciate less when we have more?

I think it is beautiful when Islam teaches us to value things even when it’s not in scarcity. For example, never waste water when you make wudhu even when you make wudhu at flowing rivers with continuous water supply.

During this time of tribulations, l learned that we may sometimes appreciate things more when we have less but we should also appreciate things even more when we have a lot.

I am away from my family, home alone with restricted mobility. These made me cherish the time I have, alone at home, to be able to get closer to myself and to connect more with other people (thanks to technology). I usually work more than 12 hours a day for six days a week but now I have more time at home than at work and I accomplished unexpected things. I bonded more with neighbours and friends and I care for myself more in these times.

Anyway, I just wanna write memories. I’ll let my grandkids read this (if I were to have them in the future ameen) so that they know I lived in the time when we do video calls solely to makan raya together (almost felt like mukbang), and have online real-time takbir raya, solat raya and khutbah raya within just a family unit. I want them to know that we should live in the present and appreciate all the things that we have regardless of how much it is.

This Ramadhan, Syawal and the year 2020 itself is indeed very different and special. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

/ˈsɒlɪtjuːd/

At this time around with COVID-19 pandemic in Ramadhan, I have come to reflect on the word عزلة. Btw, عزلة is one of my sisters’ name.

Growing up, we always thought her name means ‘cahaya kebesaran’. Still wondering how did we even get there? Hmm. Nonetheless, then I know her name عزلة means solitude. Such a beautiful name and it somehow shows in her personality.

[Brewster Rd, 2133, 040520]

Being in solitary is often regarded to being lonely. As a matter of fact, it is not. At least for me there’s a difference, a wide gap in between solitude and loneliness.

Loneliness in my opinion, has a negative connotation. It sounds very destructive and insufficient.

On the other hand, solitude carries a much positive energy. It is constructive, self-engaging and gives you space to contemplate on yourself. It is refreshing and enriching your inner self, your soul.

No wonder our beloved Rasulullah saw did عزلة before he received the revelation. The solitude brings about the greatest and most precious thing that we have up until now which is this deen, biidznillah.

Maybe I’m saying this because I’m more towards the introverted end of the extrovert-introvert spectrum but being in solitary (sometimes I call it ‘me-time’) can become a happiness. It is being alone but not lonely. I can experience it during solo travelling, when appreciating nature, do deep reading etc. And especially during this quarantine and social distancing period and especially in this blessed month of Ramadhan, tonnes of opportunity for me to عزلة. And yes, I’m now away from my family and home alone alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal :)

Let’s take advantage of our solitude, be grateful, make lots of du’a and strive to be better everyday. Fighting!